When your child is having a tough time, it can be isolating, confusing, and even exhausting. The practice of self-kindness and grounding in the knowledge that you are not alone can be helpful to both you and your child.

Here are 8 gentle reminders for the tough moments.

1. They are frustrated with the set limits — not with me. It is alright for them to feel disappointed now and then. Sometimes the answer just needs to be “no, ” which is OK. You can’t always do it all or give it all, and recognising that can help you find a little peace.

2. Pushing the limits is a natural part of child development. It is how children learn to be independent.

3. It may not feel like it now, but my child is safe. So am I.

4. What unmet need are they expressing right now?

5. What are your current needs?

6. You don’t need to be perfect to be a good enough parent. Let go of “ideals” that rob you of joy. Parenting, not perfecting.

7. They may not always express it in a way that is easy to believe, but your children love and appreciate you.

8. You can begin again. If you felt you weren’t as skilful as you would like, make amends, admit if you lost your temper or made an unhelpful decision, and then…begin again.

What makes the biggest difference for you when you’re in the middle of a tough moment? What helps you feel calm and supported in those moments?